Just Feel Your Feelings

She's about to come out of her skin.  She attributes this to her period and/or her psychiatric medications.  She says that she doesn't know what is wrong, but she just feels like crying.  Some days, counseling is not rocket science.  It's just reallllly simple.  "So cry!" I tell her.  If you feel like crying, cry.  It really is that simple.

She breaks into heart-wrenching sobs and tells me how she has lost her husband, her children, her job, her home and even her dog.  "And you don't know why you feel like crying???" I asked her.

And this woman is not unusual.  I see this all the time.  People are having an emotional reaction to some event or events in their lives, but cannot understand why.  We have become so cut off from our own feelings we don't even recognize what they are or why we are having them.  We identify them as "disorders".  We say we are "depressed" rather than sad.  We feel "anxious" rather than nervous or scared.  We have "mood swings" rather than being moody or irritable. 

We are taught that being emotional is a "biochemical imbalance" so we look for biochemical reasons.  We try to medicate them, then complain the meds aren't working.  We have blood work done.  We blame our menstrual cycles.  (Well, some of us do.)  We think that having an emotional reaction to a situation is abnormal and something which needs to be corrected.  This is sad.

Our emotions are what make us human.  To feel is to be alive, even when it hurts.  We only want to experience happiness.  But that isn't realistic.  To have happiness, we have to have all the other emotions as well;  fear, anger, sadness, nervousness, irritation, frustration, excitement, jealousy, loneliness, boredom, hopefulness and hopelessness.  It's an all or nothing deal. 

So emote.  Feel.  You will not go crazy.  You will not come undone.  You will not be unable to stop.  You will eventually run out of anger or tears and feel a sense of relief after letting it out.  And maybe you won't need so many blood tests or medications or yes, even therapy.

Comments

[Ethereal Highway]

You are right, Kellen. The easy fix mentality of pill popping to extinguish feelings is not healthy. (Though sometimes psyche meds really do make 'symptoms' worse.)

-- "Anon"

[Kellen]

I agree Anon. Psych meds are sometimes necessary and may temporarily relieve symptoms which are impairing someone's ability to function. But when taken unnecessarily for things which aren't broken, they can cause numerous side effects, some permanent, and sometimes even make symptoms worse. Good point. Thank you for sharing.