They say troubles come in threes. I think issues must too. It seems that clients and colleagues alike seem to be struggling with the same issues at the same time. One week I'll have a plethora of "Victims" in my office. The next a lot of depression. This week it seems to be people tilting at windmills. I'm still trying to figure out if I just become sensitive to an issue so that is what I see everywhere. Or if everyone is truly struggling with the same thing at the same time. Either way, I seem to be surrounded by people tilting at windmills this week.
The phrase "tilting at windmills" originates with the novel "Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes and refers to fighting imaginary enemies which exist only in your own mind. "Tilting" refers to jousting or fighting with a sword. The main character of the book, Don Quixote, is an aging country gentleman who becomes obsessed with books about chivalry and rides off into the sunset on his own quest. But his mind is a bit idealistic and highly suggestive and his "quests" occur only in his own mind. One such quest involves a group of windmills, which he perceives to be giants and their huge, whirring blades to be gigantic arms. He quickly pulls out his sword and begins to joust ("tilt") with them.
Recently it seems I am surrounded by people tilting at windmills. They engage in heated battle with adversaries or issues which exist or are created only in their own minds. They invest quite a lot of energy and emotion in doing this. From my own experiences of tilting at windmills (yes I am guilty of having done this and still do, perhaps that is why it is so easy to recognize in others) the heat of these battles can be quite exhilarating. But the exhilaration comes at a price. It distracts you from real battles and if you tend to be the Scapegoat, it can cause you to be targeted at a discontent or a trouble maker. What does tilting at windmills look like in modern day interactions?
Sam* has an ongoing battle with his probation officer and the court which is processing his DUI. The judge has ordered him into substance abuse treatment, but he is currently prescribed Klonopin by his psychiatrist. Substance abuse programs will not treat him for alcohol dependence or addiction while on Klonopin because Klonopin has the same action in the system as alcohol. Sam refuses to see his psychiatrist to have the Klonopin changed to something else. He is now on a crusade, railing against the judge, the court, the substance abuse providers, the district attorney and his own attorney because of the Catch 22 he is in. If he doesn't complete substance abuse treatment he will be in violation of the court's requirements and may violate his probation. Yet he can't participate in substance abuse treatment unless he gets off the Klonopin. This creates an anxiety provoking paradox which increases his anxiety and his need for Klonopin which further exacerbates his attempts to get substance abuse treatment. He keeps himself busy mailing letters to the FBI, the District Attorney, the governor, the Board of Medical Examiners, the judge, the probation office and other officials complaining about this paradox. Sam's windmills include the entire substance abuse system, the probation system and the court system. Tilting at these windmills allow him to deny his problems with alcohol and his behavior as a result of drinking.
*Marie is incensed about the incompetence of her supervisors. She constantly takes it upon herself to set "boundaries" with clients, tries to make a "point" with them or blatantly starts a power struggle with clients which she knows upper management will not back her up on. When the client goes over her head to management and management reverses her decision she then fumes about their incompetence and lack of boundaries. The windmills at which she is tilting include both the clients and the management. The battle distracts her from her own short comings and failure to be where she wants in her career.
*Ed has an ongoing battle with his ex-wife over child support. He paid child support in cash for the past 5 years which was not recorded by the court and is now being charged with past due child support. These fees are garnished from his paycheck which seriously decreases his income. He has check stubs which, if provided to the attorney general, would prove that he paid child support and eliminate the overdue fees and charges. But he refuses to take them down to the attorney general's office, instead, preferring to rally a cry of persecution against the AG's office and his ex-wife. He too engages in numerous hours each week writing letters, making phone calls, posting emails and discussing this persecution with every official and any other person who will listen. His primary "windmills" are the AG and his ex-wife and tilting at them provides drama in his life, an excuse for failing (since his income is so impaired) and the perfect opportunity to play Victim.
*Ruth has started a private practice - six times. She is constantly printing new business cards, starting a new website, writing a new brochure or moving her office to a new location. She sees each of these self-created endeavors as a barrier to her private practice getting off to a strong start. But never sees that each of these endeavors is created by herself. How can anyone possible find an office that is constantly moving? And her reasons for moving - six times - are sketchy at best. One didn't have enough light. One didn't have the right temperature. One didn't have the right carpeting. It reminds me of Goldilock's porridge. She constantly engages in battles with the printer over the design of the cards, or the web designer over the website, or the realtor over the new office location, etc. Yet all of these "battles" are self-induced and serve the purpose of providing excuses for why her private practice never takes off. Her self sabotage is a work of art.
*Client vignettes are fictionalized throughout this site to protect confidentiality. Colleagues' identities and those of other characters are changed in order to protect the innocent, and the guilty.
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