Just Say "NO" to Christmas Presents and Obligatory Gifting

What would happen if everyone just decided not to exchange presents any longer?  Would the Earth spin off its axis?

One day last week I saw two signs which really concerned me:

"Holiday Loans" and "Auto Title Loans"

Now add these to the "Payday Loans" which are becoming popular.

What's wrong with this picture?  We are borrowing money at 600% interest.  We are borrowing money to buy presents for the holidays.  We are gambling with the vehicles which take us to work.  Why?

I see so many people struggling to get through the holidays then facing January with credit card and other debt that is over their heads.  Why not just stop it?

Several years ago I got fed up with what a friend calls "obligatory gifting".  Buying presents for people just because they are going to buy you something.  I also got fed up with the Christmas nightmare.  The traffic, the pushing, the shoving, the pent up rage and hostility at having to fight through all the hub bub to get enough things purchased to keep everyone else happy.

So I decided to stop.  I announced that I would no longer be purchasing Christmas gifts. 

The first year several people didn't believe me and bought presents anyway.  I did not reciprocate.  I stuck to my guns.  The second year?  I was off everyone's Christmas list and out of the loop.  No more shopping.  No more scurrying, hustling, spending too much, creating debt and anxiety.  No more fighting my way through the traffic.

Now I sit back and let everyone else run around.  If I want to buy someone something I can.  But I am no longer obligated.  I do not get stressed this time of year.  I do not get depressed in January when I get the credit card bills.  I do not feel cheated or resentful in January when I see how much I have spent on everyone else and realize I did not get what I wanted or needed.

What a relief!

If you feel you have to give something, give of yourself.  Donate time to someone's favorite charity.  Plant a tree in their name.  Make blankets or scarves for folks who are homeless this winter.  Paint grandma's house.  Mow grandpa's lawn.  Take Aunt Ethel to the polka dance or the Tejano dance or the dominoes game.  Change the oil in Uncle Fred's car.  If you like to cook, make someone a home cooked meal who can't normally enjoy one.   Read to a child.  Gather up all the kids at Christmas and put on a play or paint a mural. 

This Christmas be a human "being" instead of a human "buying".  It's really not about how much stuff you can collect before you die. 

Comments

[jss]

Boy I wish everyone felt this way. A number of years ago my family, which consists of six siblings and a mother, not to mention now spouses and kids, decided that enough was enough. How many gifts can you get over the course of a lifetime and anyway it isn't like I don't buy myself what I need and usually what I want during the course of the year. So we use the opportunity to donate to charities. My response is that if you want to do something for me on my birthday or xmas then here is the name of one of my favorite charities, go online and make a donation - whatever amount you want. Use the money for someone who needs it. I have about all the pajamas, scarves and bath oils one person can use. We stick to buying gifts for the kids and that's it.

Funny thing though. I find that it is a hard habit for people to break. My family adopted the idea quite easily but my husband's family, not so much.

[SleepingTiger]

I come from a family that spoiled the younger children with presents. I think it's wrong because it teaches kids a false sense of entitlement. Really we should be earning respect and self esteem. Not toys.

That's why I am volunteering this Christmas. I think if I had children they would hate me. I would be dragging them out to help at a soup kitchen instead letting them open their presents.

[Kellen]

You are so right. I was accumulating so much stuff I didnt want or need. I love the idea of listing your favorite charities.

[Kellen]

Sleeping,

LOL. Oh I dont know. They might enjoy it and have interesting stories to tell. You would certainly be setting a good example. Ive seen kids get such a mountain of presents they really dont appreciate them.

[felix]

We had very little as a family but my dad worked hard and did his best to give us nice things at christmas- I love him for it! I feel loved because of the effort he made for us and that love will always be with me; particularly now, as I pass those feelings on to my children. Children are not silly; they know when there is thought behind the gift! Now that I'm older I so wish he was here so that I could tell him how thankful I am. So, being spoilt now and then does not have to be bad- it's about the circumstances and intention behind the gift that counts.

Bath salts, pyjamas, slippers and all the other gifts given without thought are unwanted - it is an insult to receive such gifts. Some people even keep these gifts till the next year - to give to someone else!

Materialism, no thanks, just show me that you care.

Good will to all men and women but give me good presents, good thoughts, good deeds or good words, it doesn't matter which, but most of all; give it to me all year round, then I know that you care!