Yes, therapists have issues too. Anxiety was never mine until a few years ago. Prior to that I could intellectuallly understand that people said they were experiencing anxiety and panic, but I couldn't fully appreciate how bad it felt, until I had my own.
I was working in an agency which was very abusive. I had worked for them for many years prior and the work had been the most satisfying of my life. Then the management changed. My first mistake was in hanging on and hoping that things would "get back to normal". I left the agency over three years ago and they still haven't gotten back to normal and probably never will. So, a lesson in unrealistic expectations. When things are bad, leave. Don't keep waiting for them to get better. If they do get better you can always go back. If not, you've gotten yourself out before permanent damage was done. I wish I had known that then.
As a result of working within this system I ended up with panic attacks. They have gradually started to subside over time. Unfortunately, I had one yesterday when my new boss announced they were going to change my schedule. Now a change in my schedule is nothing scary and my new agency has been nothing but supportive and kind. So a panic attack was totally unwarranted. However, the Red Alert Center of my brain apparently did not know this so it proceeded to panic.
But I'm a therapist, right? So I broke it down and talked it out with a colleague. What on Earth was provoking it? Having someone to talk it out with is invaluable. I'm especially lucky to have this woman as a friend and a colleague because her insight is amazing. She nailed it on the first shot. The current decision about changing my schedule was just like the capricious, illogical decisions made by my previous employer. My old directors were constantly changing everything. After several months of making endless changes they would then come in on Friday afternoon and tell one of my colleagues that his position had been cut and he needn't come in on Monday. (Nice, huh?) Constant, senseless changes combined with bodies dropping all around me and never knowing when my time would come. But that was more than 3 years ago.
So what triggered the panic attack? The idea that this stressful situation was happening again.
It felt the same to my brain.
My brain recognized that pattern (numerous, capricious, illogical changes, then someone gets fired and maybe I will be next) and my brain panicked, "Oh my gosh, it's happening again!" What stopped it? The realization that this was the button that was being pushed - and having a good friend to talk me through it. When I realized that the danger was in the past, at the previous job, and not at the present job the sense of imminent danger went away, and with it, the panic attack.
How does this work? The description I understand best is this one:
Imagine you are walking through a forest and see a long, dark, elongated thing lying across your path. You get only a quick glimpse and a message sears through your brain: Snake! It shoots through your neural pathways to your amygdala, what I call your Red Alert Center, which sounds the alert to the entire body: Snake! Other parts of your brain in your limbic system (in charge of emotions) dump adrenaline (your body's natural stimulant or "speed") and other chemicals into your body, preparing you to fight off the snake or run like mad. All of this happens in nanoseconds, before the signal even reaches the logical, thinking part of the brain. When the thinking parts of the brain receive the signal they take a second, more thorough look and receive a clearer picture from the visual cortex (in charge of vision). It is not a snake, it is a stick. But the Red Alert has been sounded so your emotions are high (panic) and your body is charged with adrenaline (heart racing, respiration increased, sweating), ready to run or fight. It takes awhile for the thinking part of your brain to settle the other areas down, "No, no, Stick, Stick. Not Snake!" This information will eventually shut down the Red Alert System causing the adrenaline to burn off. Your emotions will calm and your body will relax.
This is what happened above. I realized it was a stick (my current job which is safe) rather than a snake (my previous job which was not) and calmed back down.
The biggest challenge with clients who suffer from panic attacks is teaching them to take charge of the thinking brain to override the Red Alert system. Instead, not knowing any better, they often feed into it. I try to teach clients abou the Body, Thoughts and Emotions connection. These three parts of you are all contained on a single circuit. Changing one of them can force the other two to follow along. So, getting control of your thoughts and calming them can cause your body and emotions to calm down too.
A severe panic attack (body) can feel like a heart attack combined with utter terror (emotions). Your chest tightens, you can't breathe, your heart races and pounds in your chest, you sweat, you shake, your breaths become very shallow and rapid, your blood pressure rises. And you feel absolute terror.
Many people experiencing these symptoms panic (emotions) and the thinking part of the brain gets caught up in the panic with thoughts such as: "I'm going to die!", "I can't take it!", "I'm having a heart attack!" or "I'm going to lose it and go crazy!". Now imagine the effect these messages have on an already panicked limbic system (emotions) and your body. Everything throttles up a notch higher. Instead, what you want to do is get control of the thinking part of the brain and get it to talk to the other parts, "Stick. Stick. Not Snake." Calmly, but forcefully repeat the facts: "I'm not having a heart attack. I'm have a panic attack. They last about 20 minutes (or however long yours last). It will not kill me. I have survived these before and I will survive this one. I just have to stay calm and wait for it to pass. I will not go crazy. I will not lose it." Imagine the how messages like these will affect the emotional parts of your brain. It should help calm them down.
If you already know what triggers you, reassure yourself that it's just that trigger again (whatever it is). If you don't know what triggers you, talk it out with someone, just as I did. It may help you to remember what your 5 senses were experiencing just prior to the attack; what did you see, hear, smell, taste or smell?
If you want to learn more about trauma symptoms, PTSD, anxiety or panic attacks please visit these areas of the blog for additional articles or use the categories listed on the right navigation bar of this page.
Panic Attacks
Anxiety
Trauma
PTSD
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