Kellevision

When Childhood Bipolar Disorder - Isn't

I really have a problem with the recent surge in diagnosing children with Bipolar Disorder.  The children I see with this diagnosis are often the victims of serious issues at home, issues which may even include abuse.  Some struggle with PTSD and the mood swings which are inherent in a traumatized individual are attributed to "Bipolar Disorder" and medicated. 

Dealing with Addiction During the Holidays

Though we often think of the holidays as a time of giving and sharing they can also be extremely stressful.  This stress can lead to an increase in substance use or a relapse by someone in recovery.  What are some of the symptoms of a problem in a family member?  In yourself?  What can you do to protect your own sobriety?

Why Healthy Boundaries are Important in Relationships

Therapists talk a lot about boundaries, but we're not always clear what we mean by "boundaries", why they are important to an individual's mental health, or why they are important for healthy relationships.  

10 Ways to Help an "ADHD" Child - Without Medication

Many children with whom I work I have been labeled "ADHD" and placed on medications in an attempt to control their "acting out" or their "meltdowns" or their "behavior problems" at school. 

Home for the Holidays: Dealing with Toxic Families

Blood may be thicker than water, but you can't drink it.  We are told throughout our lives that family is the most important thing.  I constantly find myself working with clients who are deeply entrenched in the dynamics of toxic family systems.  Helping them navigate these turbulent waters can be difficult, but well worth the effort.

I'm Going to be Happy Today - Regardless!

Therapists tend to be very empathic.  And this is a good thing in a therapy session.  But it can really wreak havoc on our personal lives.

Expectations, Frustrations and Office Politics

"It isn't fair!" 

One employee is the boss' pet.  They come in late, leave early, do not perform their job duties, have their work assigned to or covered by other people and spend the rest of their day surfing the internet or making personal calls.  Other employees get reprimanded for doing all of these things.   Yet this person gets away with it. 

I hear this complaint a lot with other colleagues and with clients.   How do you deal with it?

"That Didn't Happen": The Importance of Validating Children's Experiences

I was raised by Cleopatra, the Queen of Denial.  Now I love this woman dearly and she has a myriad of good qualities.  But dealing with reality is not one of them.  But then reality is not always easy to deal with, especially when children are involved.  There's a very fine balance between not putting your emotions on the children or processing your problems through them (especially if you are a single parent), yet still being honest with them that something is going on.  What do I mean by that?  

On Helping Others: "Give a Man a Fish..."

"...and he eats for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime."

  Sometimes, those of us working in the helping fields forget this.  A client pulls our heartstrings and we jump in to "save" them.  Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that helping people is wrong.  It's not.  But there's a way to help people that is for them.  And there is a way to help people that is more about you.  It's important to know the difference.

"Let's You and Him Fight" - In the Workplace

In his book, "Games People Play", Dr. Eric Berne describes the game of "Let's You and Him Fight".  I see this game played out all the time in office politics.  Let's say "Joe" is upset about something that has happened in the office, usually something done by the boss or someone in a position above him.  He goes to his colleagues, Sam and Maria, to vent his frustration and to ask for advice.  What does he get?   Sympathy, for sure.  What advice may Sam and Maria provide?  "You should file a grievance."  "You should go have it out with the person."  "You should confront them about that."  "You need to stand up for yourself."  But is this really the best advice?