Kellevision

Maintaining the Cycle of Abuse

People who were abused in their families of origin may practice the same abusive behavior towards themselves.  They may also pass it on to their children.  This creates a sick, and sometimes fatal, cycle of abuse that repeats itself generation after generation.

Escaping the Scapegoat Role: Expressing Forbidden Emotions

Another possible way that Scapegoats make themselves targets is by expressing forbidden emotions within a relationship system.

Escaping the Scapegoat Role: Blaming and Perfectionism

Another possible dynamic of a family system with a scapegoat role is that of perfection and blaming.

Relationship Patterns

If you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over you might want to look at your relationship patterns.

A Blog by a Recovering Scapegoat

When the Scapegoat Quits is a wonderful online diary of a Scapegoat's path to recovery.  There are also links to other resources and sites discussing the Scapegoat Role.  You can enjoy it at:  whenthescapegoatquits.wordpress.com.

Military Structure and the Chaotic Family

Working in a homeless shelter, I work with a lot of clients who came from very dysfunctional and chaotic family systems.  One man grew up in such a family and overcame it by joining the military.  How did that help?  

Scapegoats: Stop Telling the Truth

If you were the scapegoat in your family odds are you replicate that role in your adult relationships.  It is possible to stop this pattern by changing your own behavior. 

The Ride to the Crack House and the Trip Home for the Holidays

What can a ride to the crack house and a trip home for the holidays have in common?  Well, let's see...

Holiday Wellness Tips

Staying grounded during the holidays is difficult for most everyone.  Financial stressors, substance abuse issues (yours or someone else's) or a history of trauma can only exacerbate the problem.  Add to that the fact that old family roles kick in during family gatherings and well-adjusted, normally sane people suddenly find themselves acting like 5 year olds.  How do you maintain your peace of mind and stay balanced?

Dealing with Addiction During the Holidays

Though we often think of the holidays as a time of giving and sharing they can also be extremely stressful.  This stress can lead to an increase in substance use or a relapse by someone in recovery.  What are some of the symptoms of a problem in a family member?  In yourself?  What can you do to protect your own sobriety?