For the first post of the new year I would like to address "change". This is a time when people often make New Year's resolutions to change behaviors they dislike. It is important to realize the effects those changes may have on your family interactions.
I watched a social worker trying to "save" a woman from a domestic violence situation. It was disturbing to say the least.
I'm watching a fellow staff member get Scapegoated. You can tell she was the Hero of her family of origin and this sudden shift in roles is rocking her world.
I'm working with a family who is going through an interesting transition as they move the Scapegoat role from one member to another and use intellectualism to do it.
People who were abused in their families of origin may practice the same abusive behavior towards themselves. They may also pass it on to their children. This creates a sick, and sometimes fatal, cycle of abuse that repeats itself generation after generation.
Another possible way that Scapegoats make themselves targets is by expressing forbidden emotions within a relationship system.
Another possible dynamic of a family system with a scapegoat role is that of perfection and blaming.
If you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over you might want to look at your relationship patterns.
When the Scapegoat Quits is a wonderful online diary of a Scapegoat's path to recovery. There are also links to other resources and sites discussing the Scapegoat Role. You can enjoy it at: whenthescapegoatquits.wordpress.com.
Working in a homeless shelter, I work with a lot of clients who came from very dysfunctional and chaotic family systems. One man grew up in such a family and overcame it by joining the military. How did that help?