Dr. Ken Eisold, a psychoanalyst writing for Psychology Today states in his article, "Anger and Exercise", "Anger is a normal and adaptive response to an attack or a threat. It has been useful in our evolutionary struggle for survival. The brain detects the danger and the body is aroused and energized to react with fight or flight."
The lyrics of an old song and the words of a new client crashed into each other yesterday. I was reminded of one of the reasons men and women fail to have healthy relationships - unrealistic expectations.
It seems most Americans like to think of themselves as thinking beings who happen to feel. But research into the human brain shows that we are instead feeling beings who are able to think. I believe our failure to recognize this causes untold frustration and the current epidemic of people being diagnosed with depression.
If you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over you might want to look at your relationship patterns.
Last month's gang rape at Richmond High School in California has been classified as "bound to happen".
Often, when walking alone at night scanning the environment for danger, I have had minority males accuse me of being racist. "You thought the Mexican was going to get you, huh?" "You're keeping an eye on the Black guy, hmm?" You bet I am. But not because you're Mexican or Black. Because you're male.
... but is he looking for you? If you want to have a good man you have to be a good woman. A good man does not want a lying, scheming, pill popper who sleeps with his best friend and expects him to take care of her.
Therapists talk a lot about boundaries, but we're not always clear what we mean by "boundaries", why they are important to an individual's mental health, or why they are important for healthy relationships.
Men and women have different needs and communicate them in different ways. This can create some serious misunderstandings, hurt feelings, frustration and resentment.
When transactional analysts talk about a "discount", they are not talking about getting something cheaper. They are referring to something much more insidious. A discount in TA is a way of denying some part of another person and, unfortunately, discounts are quite common in most of our lives.