Kellevision

Escaping the Scapegoat Role: Blaming and Perfectionism

Another possible dynamic of a family system with a scapegoat role is that of perfection and blaming.

Intellectualism as a Defense Mechanism: Creating a New Scapegoat

I'm working with a family who is going through an interesting transition as they move the Scapegoat role from one member to another and use intellectualism to do it.

Power in Relationships and the Scapegoat Role

I'm reading an excellent book by Claude Steiner, Scripts People Live: Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts. It's a bit outdated, originally published in the 1970's, but still has some real gems. Here is one about power in relationshi...

Home for the Holidays: Dealing with Toxic Families

Blood may be thicker than water, but you can't drink it. We are told throughout our lives that family is the most important thing. I constantly find myself working with clients who are deeply entrenched in the dynamics of toxic family ...

Outrageous! The Psychology of Self-Righteous Indignation

This seems to be Self-Righteous Indignation Month. Apparently I did not receive the memo. I'm seeing so many clients this month who are filled with self-righteous indignation about the behavior of other people. They really get themsel...

When one member of the family changes...

For the first post of the new year I would like to address "change". This is a time when people often make New Year's resolutions to change behaviors they dislike. It is important to realize the effects those changes may have on your f...

"Let's You and Him Fight" - In the Workplace

In his book, "Games People Play", Dr. Eric Berne describes the game of "Let's You and Him Fight". I see this game played out all the time in office politics. Let's say "Joe" is upset about something that has happened in the office, usu...