Different people have different reasons for procrastinating, but they often fall within several categories.
It Works
When we don’t do something we need to do and go out with our friends instead, we are immediately rewarded with pleasure (the pleasure of going out with our friends) instead of discomfort (the hassle of doing an unpleasant task). We may also have a history of pulling something together at the last minute and getting away with it (writing a paper for school, putting together a project for work, paying bills). This reinforces our belief that procrastination works, or that we are “getting away with it”.
To overcome this tendency really examine whether it actually “worked” or whether you just slid by on the seat of your pants. Is the paper you turned in something you are truly proud of or barely adequate? How does it make you feel? If it is adequate but you are not proud of it you are depriving yourself of that really good feeling you get when you do something well. This creates negative feelings and lowers your self esteem because you are not doing work that is truly worthy of you.
You can also look at your reasons for doing it at the last minute. You may resent needing to do the task. You may feel it’s being forced on you, it’s unreasonable or it’s burdensome. You may believe the task is beneath you or your abilities. You may believe it is unnecessary or foolish that the task be required. If you don’t care about doing it well, why are you doing it?
Avoiding Unpleasantness
Sometimes the simplest answers are the most accurate. If we are out of touch with our inner feelings, procrastination may be our way of avoiding doing things we don’t want to do in the first place. Many people delay tasks waiting for a time when they “feel like it”. Unfortunately, most people never “feel like” paying bills. They tackle this unpleasant task for the satisfaction they know they will feel after they have completed the task. People expect to have the good feeling before they accomplish the task. That’s backwards.
The key to overcoming has two parts: 1) reduce the unpleasantness if possible and 2) focus on the pay off when the task is complete. If you hate dusting, buy dusting spray with a pleasant aroma. If you hate paying bills, put on some pleasant music. Do it outside in the sunshine. If the task is especially tedious or difficult, break it into smaller tasks that are easier to face. It is also important with unpleasant tasks to focus on the pay off. The task itself may be unpleasant but you will feel great when you complete it. This is how people get themselves to the gym. The gym experience itself is uncomfortable but they know they will feel great afterwards.
No Reward
This one goes hand in hand with avoiding tasks because they are unpleasant. Procrastinators typically haven’t learned to reward themselves for completing a difficult task. This can be related to perfectionism where the task is never “perfect” enough for the person to feel proud of having completed it. To counteract this behavior make a point to pat yourself on the back. You may even plan a reward for yourself for having completed the unpleasant task.
Perfectionism
We establish criteria in our mind for successful completion of a task that are so overwhelming no human could ever obtain them. I remember my mother getting ready to decorate the house for Christmas. But first the house had to be cleaned so intensely that by the time we were supposed to decorate everyone was too exhausted to care! When you look at completing a task and it seems to loom so large that you can’t even contemplate starting it, check again to see if you are being too perfectionistic. Then lower your standards to something more human – and humane.
Perfectionists not only avoid starting tasks, they may also avoid completing tasks. I had a friend who started many paintings, but never finished any of them. This way, if anyone ever criticized it she could always claim she was not finished with it yet. Never completing the task guarantees failure, but allows the perfectionist to maintain their belief that it will be perfect when complete. It also allows them to avoid criticism.
Perfectionists tend to view things in black and white. It is either completely perfect or a total failure. This makes it impossible to perform a typical, average, human task. There is no such thing as average. And if the task is not completed perfectly, then it must be a failure.
Perfectionists also tend to go overboard. If they are writing a paper they believe they must read everything ever written about the topic before they can even think about writing a single word. This same tendency to go overboard also applies to setting goals. Perfectionists tend to set unrealistic goals. They may decide they should be able to write a complete 10 page paper over a single weekend. Unable to rise to these unreasonable goals ensures feelings of failure and incompetence and makes the perfectionist more reluctant to engage in the next task.
Perfectionists have an added tendency to be hypercritical. They avoid seeing what they have accomplished but point out ad nauseum every single thing that is not perfect about the way the task was completed. This negative internal dialogue further exacerbates any desire to complete a task. Why complete anything if you are just going to beat yourself up for it afterward? Who in their right mind would want to show up for that?
How do you become less of a perfectionist? Make your goal progress, not perfection. I used to set very unreasonable goals for myself and only look at how far I was from them. This caused me to feel incompetent and insecure. Now, instead of asking “Have I reached my goal yet?” I ask, “Am I Better?” This has been very liberating and much more accurate in accessing my progress. When I first started going to the gym, I compared myself with other members who had obviously been working out for some time. (Notice I did not compare myself with people who just started. A perfectionist always compares themselves with perfection, not the norm.) I would beat myself up for not being able to work out at the level which long-time members had mastered. Then I changed my question to “Am I Better?” Since I had been an avid couch potato the month before, asking this question put it into proper context. Though I could only do 5 minutes on the cardio machine, last month I had done nothing. This was MUCH better! Assessing your progress this ways compares you to you and considers where you have come from. That is the only way to be fair and it changes the perspective completely. And by changing the perspective you change how you feel about yourself and your accomplishments.
If you’re a perfectionist, it’s also important to examine the goals you set. Are you trying to attain the body of a 20 year old at the gym when you are 46? That’s not really fair is it? As a recovering perfectionist I also found that I would set goals for completing tasks that were superhuman. I would decide to lay the tile for the kitchen in a single day. Naturally, I started, but quickly tired out. Then I left the half-tiled floor for six months. I finally figured out that I should break it into smaller bits that I could face doing. By breaking it up into smaller tasks, I was able to face it, knowing that I could successfully complete the task I had set for myself and the tile laying got done. I also changed “Finish it” to “Start it” in my mind. When I tried to face the task of finishing the entire floor it was too overwhelming. But I could easily face starting it. This also allowed me to stop before I became too uncomfortable instead of forcing myself to physically fall down before stopping in my attempts to “Finish it”. By allowing myself to stop before becoming dead tired, my memory of the task was not so unpleasant and it was easier to face starting again the next time.
Fear of Failure
People who grew up with perfectionists or around hypercritical people may avoid starting making decisions or completing tasks for fear of failure. If you were raised with someone who always criticized every effort, there was no way to complete a task successfully. We often internalize this criticism and negativity and talk to ourselves the same way.
Not making a decision or completing a task can be an attempt by the procrastinator to avoid responsibility, or blame, for whatever outcome results from the decision. The way to address this situation is to look at the people around you. Are they perfectionistic or hypercritical? Or is it your own internal dialogue that picks apart everything you do? If it is external, perhaps you need to get new friends or distance yourself from family members. If it is internal, you will need to examine what you are saying to yourself and change it. You may wish to read the article, “Self Talk” for more on this topic.
Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive Distortions are thoughts and beliefs we have that are illogical, irrational, or inaccurate. These distorted beliefs then affect our feelings and behavior. There are several cognitive distortions which are typically found in people who procrastinators.
“Should” statements
“I ought to pay those bills”, “I should mow the lawn”, “I have to take care of that leaking faucet”. Everyone one of these statements is about some external force putting pressure on you to do something. This will often create guilt, resentment, or rebellion and results in resistance and procrastination.
How do you stop this? Examine what you are saying to yourself and your beliefs about it. If you think you “should” pay bills, why do you think that? If you “ought” to pay those bills, who is making that determination? You? If you really believed you “ought” to pay those bills – you would. “Shoulds”, “have tos”, and “oughts” are usually from someone else. Try rephrasing the statement to make it more accurate and to make it about what you want, rather than what you have to do. “It would take a load off my mind to pay those bills.” “I would feel better if I got those bills paid.” How do these statements feel compared to the statement “I have to” pay those bills? You may also want to read my article, “Cognitive Distortions” for more information on these topics.
“I’ll do that when I feel like it.”
No one ever “feels like” paying the bills or mowing the lawn. They often believe that a perfect moment will come when they will be full of motivation to do the project and they will have the perfect environment in which to do it. For instance, if a student is supposed to write a 10 page paper he or she may expect that they will wake one day feeling like writing and the dorm will be completely peaceful and quiet. Procrastinators believe that non-procrastinators get things done because they are more motivated and the planets are in complete alignment in order for the task to be completed. This may be true, but it’s not because they “feel like it”.
What non-procrastinators focus on is not whether they feel like doing a task or not, but how they will feel afterwards. They look at the big picture and focus on the reward to be gained from facing, and overcoming, something unpleasant. They also get things done regardless of whether the environment is perfect or not. If the dorm is throwing a keg party the weekend they decide to work on their paper, they take it to the library. Non-procrastinators don’t wait to “feel like it” or for the situation to be perfect – they just do it knowing they will feel better afterwards.
“I’m at my best when under pressure.”
Very few people are at their best under pressure. And the kind of pressure that generates peak performances (playing a sport in front of a crowd, etc.) generates a peak performance only after long periods of practice and discipline. Procrastinators are “best” when under pressure because that is typically the only time they get anything done – at the last minute. Compared to doing nothing the rest of the time, this is their “best”, but it does not make it “the” best.
“It won’t matter if I let it go just this once.”
Letting things go just once isn’t the problem. Letting things go “just once” over and over and over creates a huge pile of problems that is difficult to overcome. It’s important to recognize this thinking and correct it with something more realistic. Are you really letting it go just this once, or is this something you do regularly?
Passive aggressiveness
A lot of people cannot tolerate confrontation. So they smile and nod and agree to do things which, in fact, they have no intention of doing. Procrastination may be their way of inadvertently avoiding conflict while not doing what was requested either.
People will also go along with things with which they actually disagree to avoid disapproval, criticism, or withdrawal of love. If they are in a relationship with an abuser, they may do it to keep the peace or avoid a violent outburst.
The solution to this problem is very difficult. If you grew up in a violent or abusive home, confrontation may be really scary for you. But it is essential that you learn to stand up for yourself and say, “No”. It’s necessary for your self-esteem and to end your procrastinating so you can get where you want in life. Seek help from people who are around you and are supportive. It may also be necessary to seek counseling for assistance in overcoming this particular habit. A counselor will be someone on whom it is safe to practice standing up to and saying, “No” to. They can also help you develop strategies and techniques for learning to confront people in a healthy, non-violent manner.
Issues with authority
You may procrastinate as a way of rebelling against authority. If you do not respect the person making the request, do not recognize their authority, or resent their authority you may procrastinate in completing requests as a way of rebelling.
It’s also very common for procrastinators to have been raised in very authoritarian homes where every action was regulated by a parent or guardian. If your behavior is totally controlled by external forces, you never learn to regulate yourself. So people who grew up in authoritarian homes often have problems with self-regulation in many areas of their lives including; drug and alcohol use, promiscuity, overeating, and following the rules in general. People from these types of homes may procrastinate as a form of rebellion against perceived authority or against submitting to authoritarian type rules.
To overcome this form of procrastination it is important that you examine your issues with authority. This examination should include your own internal dialogues with yourself and how you react to external demands from other people.
It is important that you are not authoritarian with yourself. We often internalize the messages which are used in our homes when we are growing up. If you were raised with a lot of “have tos” and “musts” pay very close attention to your own internal dialogue. If you are using the same terms with yourself you may want to change your Self Talk. Change “I have to mow the lawn today” to “I want to mow the lawn today because…” and fill in the blank with your own reason for wanting the lawn mowed. This will eliminate the feeling that you are being forced or commanded to mow the lawn and make it your own choice. Doing so will reduce resistance to completing the task. Unfortunately, this only works with your own internal dialogue. If the “have tos” or “musts” are coming from a spouse or an employer it gets a bit trickier. If you find that changing your own internal dialogue is effective, sit down and talk to your spouse about how it effects you when they tell you something “has to” be done and request that they reword it. Suggest that they will get better results if they frame it as a request rather than a demand or an order. You may try to same tactic with your employer, depending upon your employer.
The issue then remains that there are going to be people in your life who issue orders which cannot be changed into requests. It may be necessary to work with a therapist to address the ways in which you interpret and react to orders and demands and utilize cognitive behavioral therapy to improve them.
Because we are too busy
Sometimes we are too busy because we have put off responsibilities and they have now piled up. If you are too busy to take care of your own business, could it be you are taking on too many responsibilities which belong to other people? Or are you too busy doing things you prefer to do in order to avoid unpleasant tasks? Or perhaps the things you have decided you should be doing are not really what you want to do, but imposed upon you by someone else and you are too busy as a form of resistance.
For the rush
Thrill seekers may put things off until the last minute arousal for the rush they get from trying to “beat the deadline”. If you are an adrenalin junkie it may be important to develop other ways of getting your adrenaline high than sabotaging yourself by not getting things done properly. You made need some activity as stimulating as sky diving or bungee jumping, or you may just need to get out more.
Difficulty concentrating
Your environment may be too interesting. Turn off the TV, the Ipod, and possibly the cell phone to get enough peace and quiet to be able to focus. Difficulty concentrating can also be a symptom of depression, anxiety, or the result of personal problems in your life at the time.