We typically think of the holiday season as being a time of sharing and caring, of family get togethers and celebrations. But the holidays can be a source of great stress, conflict and depression. Why does this happen and what can you do about it?
The three major factors that make the holiday season so stressful are:
1. Money
Most people spend a lot of money this time of year and some spend far beyond their means. Special foods, travel expenses, gifts and entertainment expenses can seriously impact a household budget and the effects can sometimes be felt for months into the new year.
2. Relationships
Family conflicts and turmoil are often revisited or rekindled during the holiday season when everyone typically gets together. The stress of the season puts a further burden on any tensions that already exist in the family causing misunderstandings. Old feuds may be revived. New feuds may be initiated. Tempers may flare. Feelings may get hurt. Conversely, if you have suffered the loss of a relationship through death, divorce or separation, the holidays can leave you feeling especially vulnerable, lonely, sad, grieving or isolated.
3. Time
Preparing elaborate meals or parties, attending social events, shopping, traveling, juggling many different schedules and calendars can be time consuming, tiring and stressful. Time constraints may also impair self care; healthy diets are trashed, exercise may be skipped, alcohol consumption may increase.
Any of these factors can turn an otherwise happy time into an emotional nightmare. Here are some tips for getting through the holidays with your mental health intact.
1. Call a truce
If family conflicts or feuds are brewing, agree to call a truce during the holiday season. Fighting can resume on January 1.
2. Prioritize
Is it really necessary to prepare 200 cookies for the entire office? Do you really have to buy a present for every child in your third graders class? Do you really need to attend a Christmas gathering at the homes of three different family members? Which parties do you really want or need to attend and which can be skipped for a quiet evening at home? Are you maintaining some familial traditions which are burdensome and unwanted? Are there other ways you would prefer to celebrate instead?
3. Budget
Set a budget and stick to it. Eliminate gifts as part of your celebration, allow on hand-made gifts, set a price limit on gifts, or exchange favors or labor instead of presents. Offer babysitting, lawn mowing, cooking, cleaning, car repairs, etc. instead.
4. Schedule
Start your shopping earlier to have more time to do it in a leisurely fashion. Plan travel well ahead of time. Schedule down time and quiet time in order to relax and recoup. Perhaps the weekend before Christmas you will plan to have everything that is possible done and spend a quiet weekend at home resting and relaxing before the big week begins.
5. Seek support
If this is a difficult time of year for you because of a loss, seek support from friends and family. Make plans for Christmas day so you won't be sitting at home alone. Talk to people about how you are feeling. Join a support group. Get a list of phone numbers of people you can call when the feelings become too much.
6. Maintain your self care
Eat as healthy as you can. Change the traditional holiday menu for more healthy choices. Drink in moderation. Get enough sleep. Maintain your exercise routine. Try not to overindulge. Be sure to drink enough water.
7. Delegate
Don't try to do the entire holiday by yourself. Get everyone to bring a dish to the holiday meal. Delegate people to help with the shopping, the wrapping, the cleanup.
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