The Texas Council on Family Violence has created some wonderful brochures which are printable from your computer that address power and control in relationships. The most common one describes the use of power and control in relationships. But there is second handout which describes the qualities of healthy relationships which are built on equality.
These brochures are in .pdf format and will require Adobe Reader to view them. Adobe Reader is free software you can download here.
The use of power and control are some of the first red flags that will pop up in a relationship that may indicate a potential for future violence. The "Power and Control Wheel" is common information provided to survivors of domestic violence.
What I often find missing is information about what a healthy relationship looks like. Many people know they are in an unhealthy relationship, but have no idea what to do differently. This is not unexpected. Most of us form adult relationships based on our experiences of relationships in our families of origin. If we grew up in a house with alcoholism, we become or marry an alcoholic. If we are raised in a violent home, we become or marry a violent person. This is the pattern that feels familiar to us. This is the only kind of relationship we know how to have. It is possible to learn to have a different kind of relationship, but you have to what a healthy relationship looks like.
Fortunately, there is now an Equality Wheel also available from the Texas Counsel on Family Violence. It shows the components and characteristics of a healthy relationship.
I'll be posting more about early warning signs or "Red Flags" that might indicate you are in an unhealthy relationship, information about fighting fair, tips for improving communication with your partner and other relationship topics. Or you can click the Relationships category to the right of this article.