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That is true.

But, what do you do if the person is grieving for 4 years and doesn't want any therapy?
I really don't like to be around people like that! It's beginning to be selfish from their side!!!

Hi Jessica,

If someone is still grieving after four years something else is going on. I can't really tell what without talking to them. It may be they simply have not really processed the grief, but are intellectualizing it. Or they may not have found peace with it yet. You describe it as "selfish". You might look for the benefits they are deriving from the grief. It may be fulfilling some other purpose.

I hope that helps.

There is nothing "selfish" about grief. Grief is painful. Something to consider is it may be what they call "complicated grief". Do a google search to read more about it.

I try to turn the conversation in different topic or turn off the person suffering to speak of their pain.


You make a very good point. Thank you for sharing.

ץ כאן

Is this to comfort them, or you?

So very true about how our society doesn't teach us how to grieve. My son was military and committed suicide last year. To say I have struggled is putting it mildly. My doctor has tried repeatedly to get me to take anti-depressants. I told him, "I don't want to be numb thru this. I am supposed to grieve. I am supposed to feel bad. All I can hope is that one day the pain will begin to lessen and I will find peace again." I am slowly getting better...

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