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« Helping the "Helpless" | Main | Expectations, Frustrations and Office Politics »

April 29, 2009

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Cluster B individuals, in my experience, are the most dangerous and they are, again in my experience, invariably abusive. Functionality in capitalism doesn't really interfere with that.

On sex: I find the diagnosis distribution strange, because in the very many people I've met (and I'm not licensed whatsoever; I'm just someone who tries to look very carefully at the world), borderline individuals are equally male or female, but antisocials definitely tend towards the male side. Narcissists (not that stupid "they're obnoxiously privileged and oblivious so therefore narcissistic" kind) are more commonly diagnosed when male - I've met a lot of undiagnosed ones, and I believe I grew up with one - but I've only ever met one male narcissist; I've met several female narcissists.

I take the very controversial point of view that cluster B individuals (as they aren't sufferers from their own disorder) should be killed. Yes, really. I don't much bother myself with how that would be decided, since I see the psychiatric/psychological institution as hopelessly inept at actually diagnosing these individuals, and it's not much of a problem for me because I also believe that, if you are being abused, you have the (non-legal) right to kill the person.

I don't know if you've considered this idea... but I am very behavioristic in how I perceive the world. It's a safer and more accurate way to gather information on how to proceed. Humans do lie, all the time; they speak, and their body language and actions say it's a lie.

The way they behave, individuals with personality disorders have a fundamental disconnect in their brain/mind with how their actions affect the world. Narcissists don't and can't see how they have affected the world or done anything wrong, their inner world/delusion doesn't allow it. It is essentially against the laws of physics for them to have seriously hurt someone without them deserving it. Antisocials (from what I have seen - I've never actually interacted with one) have that disconnect in a complete neutrality of what their actions mean in terms of ethics. They are unable to conceive/impress of doing something wrong, even if they did it and if someone else did the same thing, it would be wrong to them. Borderlines have that disconnect as being unable to be... powerful, or meaningful: when they hurt someone, it couldn't have been that bad. I've never met anyone with histrionic personality disorder, or known about them. At all. I can't say anything about it.

I say that about borderlines because, if you look at their behavior, their repentance/self-pitying inevitably turns into another form of self-aggrandizement. I've never known a borderline to have what I call an "apology session" without the subtle demand of validation/justification. Ask a socially inferior member of a borderline's circle (children, for example) when they're not there: what happens if you agree with the idea that they should feel bad, or tell them that they need to stop that behavior and stop apologizing for it? It's always, always the same: they become abusive and hateful.

In general, I think it is extremely dangerous and willfully blind to consider any personality disorder-afflicted individual's self-analysis, reflection or testimony as valid. I have known borderlines to lie about childhood abuse - it's a sympathy-garnering tactic, a way to escape and receive validation. I am VERY reluctant to consider any person's testimony of rape or abuse as invalid, but it's pretty standard in the borderline repertoire. Narcissists don't do it much, though I'm not sure why - but stories of attempts seem to be standard, whether or not they're true.

So I don't think that personality disorders are behaviors. They're disconnects between the individual's inner world and the reality of the world. It's one thing that makes treating personality disorders so difficult, but there are some that are more treatable than others because of their extra reliance on an external factor (dependent personality disorder, for example). The counselors I've known (no, they hadn't gotten a degree, but I have only rarely respected someone more than them in my entire life) have immense trouble with Cluster Bs - it essentially comes down to getting the individual to stop or curtail their abusive behavior towards others.

I started seeing a counselor at my university about 3 months ago for things that I had been dealing with for many years but which had finally reached a point of disruption wherein I felt desperate. There were many things that I had been seeing as being totally separate issues, the main ones being-- not knowing how to "be"/how to act (I feel like a different person in different situations, even when I am alone in different environments, to the point that it seems like different realities), trouble with authority figures (making them into "Gods" with the answers until they fail and piss me off), increasingly rapid mood swings with times of euphoria and times of depression provoked by external events and that change many times each day, obsessions, fear, relationship problems, and eating disorders (which we never got around to talking about because of the other stuff), long periods of depresssion at times, emptiness, nearly unbearable loneliness, bordeom, fear. There is much much more. I feel as if I could talk or write for 4 hours and not say it all.

I have researched and came across the label borderline personality disorder. Often, when I would read about it, I would get this sense that someone was reading back my life to me. I told my therapist about it, and he acted a bit surprised and refused to tell me whether or not the label applied to me. We looked over the DSM criteria together, and while I met enough of them to be diagnosed, he said that he didn't think I did so in an extreme enough sense. I wonder what the hell counts as an "extreme" enough senese? I can often imagine myself going to the extreme-- if that means what I think it does-- but it's just a matter of time until it happens. Sometimes the internal pain and chaos is so bad that I feel like I need to act out in some way just to get people's attention. I don't know how else to ask for help. I am dying and screaming inside, and on the outside people see someone who is "responsible" and in control, even having a lead role as a write this moment in a 5-week camp over 30 high schoolers and other counselors. I don't know if I can do this. It just started. I have left my university for the summer and have been away from counseling for over a month. I feel like I'm about to snap.

What should I do? Why would my therapist, why will no one, tell me what is going on? Why does everyone I know tell me that labels aren't that important? Are they or are they not?

This comment is, I suppose, directed at "Zoom," the author of the first comment.

What would you tell my children, whom I do not abuse as I have put safeguards in place for them socially and psychologically, after you had me executed for my disorder?

What would you tell my husband (to whom I apologize nearly every day)?

Would you just tell them they're better off? If I believed that, I'd kill myself. Because I do NOT believe that, I make myself live even when fantasies of suicide are sometimes all that get me through the day.

When would you have killed me?

And what's YOUR diagnosis? I'm curious as to what malfunction what makes you devalue a human life to such a degree.

I dont even really understand cluster b's or know if I am one. I do have BPD though and the first commentor is a barbaric idiot. First of all, I have never abused anyone...ever. Why not figure out a way to help people wit BPD instead of putting yourself on a pedastal proclaiming we all should be killed. Maybe you're the one who needs to be killed for being a self righteous asshole. Just sayin'.

Paranoid personality disorder is a type of personality disorder that can become a debilitating condition and needs immediate treatment. People with this disorder are extremely suspicious of others and do not trust anyone including faithful friends and the other relatives.
http://www.disorderscentral.com/paranoid-personality-disorder.html

I think people with C-PTSD often get misdiagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder because the emotional lability (or emotional "stickiness", intensity) is a symptom.

I think a client's emotional lability so wears on a therapist's patience they just want a diagnoses slapped on the client so the therapist no longer feels like a failure. (BPD reassures the therapist this client is difficult to treat, and it's not the therapist's fault.)

But many people with emotional lability are not "splitters" (overvalue people onto a pedestal then devalue and discard those same people.) And many emotionally labile people are not manipulative. They are simply sifting through the wreckage of the latest trauma that stirs up (trigger) a lot of memories of low-grade mini-traumas that happened throughout childhood.

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