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I think the father belongs in prison for the crime of torture.

I can't disagree with you there. He at least needs to have his visitation eliminated.

This link has just been sent to me. It is uncertain to me how much of this is being fabricated about this father and what is fact. Seeing an animal killed at such a young age could be traumatic but I’ll put my money saying this child’s trauma occurred much earlier than that. I would guess if it wasn’t in-utero it occurred preverbal. That is common in seeing this type of behavior at such a young age.

Additionally the resulting rages might have little to do with the father. This child could act like an angel for the entire visit with his father. Then when mom picks him up there is a huge release of pent up emotion. Lots of spouses see this one. Their partner has a bad day at work and brings it home…. Many of these younger school aged children can do fairly well in school but will rage for hours at home.

All I’m truly saying is if this child has attachment issues or disorder his behavior can’t be judged or rationalized in a “normal” manner. These issues and disorders even make normal married couples look crazy because of the manipulation and triangulation skills of even the youngest affected children.

Sadly there are only small pockets of parents and/or professionals working with this sect of children. If you wish to contact me privately I will see if we can get this family where they need to go.

Sincerely,

Michael Groomer

Advocates for Children of Trauma
7924 Eastland Ave.
Fort Worth, Texas 76135
Phone: 817-219-5459
Fax: 817-237-6505
E-mail: ACT_Founder@sbcglobal.net
Website: www.hopeforhealingtrauma.com


Advocates for Children of Trauma is a 501 (C) (3) charitable organization

"These issues and disorders even make normal married couples look crazy because of the manipulation and triangulation skills of even the youngest affected children."

It is very sad that even therapists organize against the traumatized. There is truly no place for us. We need enlightened witnesses who are no longer unconsciously beholden to their own parents.

The child is living in chaos, being shuffled around between parents. THe dad sounds like a creep, but the mother is probably not too balanced either if she was married to a creep. They ship the child off to the mental health professionals for help. But, the child goes right back into a chaotic environment. What good is therapy when the child is living in toxic environment? Sadly, I guess they'll do what they always do in Texas load the child up on a crapload of antipsychotics and send him back to the environment that caused the problems to begin with. I guess CPS doesn't care about emotional abuse?

Hi Mike,

Actually, none of this has been fabricated. The child involved is a family member. The child has not gotten safe enough in his therapeutic setting to voice hostility directly toward his father and more information is coming out. Thank you so much for your support. I'll the mother know.

Anon,

You wrote, "It is very sad that even therapists organize against the traumatized. There is truly no place for us. We need enlightened witnesses who are no longer unconsciously beholden to their own parents."

I couldn't agree more. A colleague once said that children should have rights and parents should have privileges. I couldn't agree more.

Disgusted,

Texas CPS won't intervene because the abuse is happening in Arkansas. The mother is participating fully in counseling with the child and getting her own counseling, but the environment is certainly chaotic which does not help. It has been a constant fight to avoid having this child labelled as "ADHD" or "Bipolar Disorder" and pumped full of some very dangerous medications. You certainly got that right. You are also right that providing therapy while returning the child to the environment which is causing the problem is pointless. The abuse has to stop before healing can begin to be truly effective.

From having spoken to CPS in two different states, I'm afraid the answer is "No", they do not care about emotional abuse. If you don't leave a mark, they will not investigate. And I think that is sad. In my humble opinion, mental and emotional abuse can often be much more debilitating than physical abuse because it gets in your head and distorts the way you experience every single thing. Unfortunately, CPS does not agree.

Thank you for your concern and your feedback.

I have an idea, Kellen. Perhaps the mother can get a judge in Arkansas to get rid of the father's visitation, not on the grounds of child abuse, but on the grounds that contact with the father is interfering with needed medical treatment that is in the best interest of the child. The best interest of the child is the standard that is used to make decisions that effect children. Since CPS does not consider what the father is doing to be child abuse, maybe you can get a therapist to simply say that visitation with the father is preventing the child from receiving the benfit of desperately needed treatment and that it is in the boy's best interest to have no contact with his father because to continue the visitation prevents effective treatment. This can be said without using the words 'child abuse'. It might even score points in shock value to avoid the phrase anyway and to graphically DESCRIBE the problem instead of naming it. Any judge judge worth his salt will not NEED anyone else to tell him it is abuse if it can be done this way. Also, the whole thing might look more impressive if it lands in front of a judge as an emergency injunction. Can the mother get a lawyer in Arkansas to attempt to file such a thing on the boy's behalf? Maybe someone who is still slightly green and looking to make a name for him/herself? The mother might get off cheap that way, too. Sending out some skillfully worded press releases might not be a bad idea, either (depending - seek professional legal advice - I am not a lawyer). I like to hope that the general public views the torture of children in an unfavorable light and this is why I say publicity might encourage a decision that truly is in the child's best interest. Good luck, Kellen. Please let us know how the poor young man fares. I will keep him in my thoughts.

http://www.childtrauma.org/aboutCTA/CT_Academy.asp
ChildTrauma@ChildTraumaAcademy.org
1-866-943-9779
Maybe the boy can be assessed here and someone will have the courage to call a spade a spade.

I hope you don't mind, Kellen, but I sent this link to a couple of blog friends who are lawyers. One is also an advocate for abused and neglected children. Maybe one of them will have a suggestion to guide the mother to some legal help for her boy. If I think of anything else, I will come back and leave it in comments. I hope someone can do something. We cannot let atrocities such as these continue against our children. If people would have gained the courage to stand up against things like this many years ago, I would be sleeping right now. Maybe, if we refuse to be quiet, some future generation will sleep easier.

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