Kellevision

Brothers - A Film about War, Trauma and Family Roles

This weekend I watched a poignant film about a soldier who is captured in Afghanistan and the devastating effects it has on his wife and children and his family of origin.  The movie also does a nice job of illustrating the familial roles of hero and scapegoat and how these roles might be reversed. 

It's All in the Delivery: How to Deliver Bad News

Though my family has its dysfunction and quirks like every other family, one thing we have learned to negotiate is how to deliver bad news.  Whether you need to tell someone something they don't want to hear about themselves or whether you need to tell them something catastrophic has occurred, delivering bad news is something we do pretty well.  (You'll see all the things we don't do so well on other pages in this blog!)

Create an Anchor to Reduce Anxiety and Panic

Therapists often help clients struggling with trauma symptoms like anxiety and panic attacks by teaching them to develop what we call an "anchor".  An anchor helps you pull down fear and panic and steady yourself, much like the anchor of a boat.  It's easy to use and anyone can do it for themselves, if they know how. 

Customer "Care" and Other Exercises in Futility

I've been on hold close to an hour, I've been transferred four times and I'm listening to the recorded voice on the other end telling me how important my phone call is to them.  I'm waiting for a "Customer Care Specialist".  I would settle for simple customer service.

Introverts vs. Antisocials - Being Quiet and Enjoying Being Alone is not a Mental Illness

I hear a lot of people referring to themselves or others and "antisocial" and expressing the belief that this means they are "abnormal".  I think it is important to clear up two major misunderstandings about this way of thinking.

Childhood Abuse, Depression, Anxiety, Mood Swings, Bipolar Disorder and Trauma

I see so many clients who have been traumatized by childhood abuse who seek help for their wildly vacillating emotional states.  They go to a doctor or psychiatrist, have their emotional instability classified as "mood swings", are diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and are tranquilized into oblivion on "mood stabilizers".  This is very disturbing to me and reminds me of the denial Freud engaged in when he realized just how many of his patients had been sexually abused.  

Living with a Sociopath

If you have never had a sociopath in your family, you have no idea how much fun you are missing out on.  The technical term for a sociopath is Antisocial Personality Disorder if you want to look the diagnosis and technical description.  But the diagnostic criteria doesn't do justice to these folks nor describe the mesmerizing effect they have on other people.  

Children Need Parents, Not Friends

I see a lot of parents who want desperately to break away from the authoritarian style with which they were raised.  Authoritarian parents can be demanding but not responsive and can focus heavily on obedience at the price of creativity and independence.  It's only natural that modern parents would want to be kinder, gentler parents.  But it's important not to let the pendulum swing too far in the opposite direction.

How to Shoot a Gun and Other Lessons about Life

I was always afraid of guns, because I didn't understand them.  So I decided to learn to shoot.  I didn't realize I was going to learn about a lot more than just firing a weapon. 

Progress not Perfection: Striving for Success with Healthy Expectations

I remember the first day I walked into the gym after years of being a bonafide couch potato.  After 5 minutes on the treadmill I was gasping for breath.  I watched as people around blithely ran for an hour, barely breaking a sweat.  It was daunting and not a little intimidating.  But then I remember something I had learned along my journey in life...