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Is it too late? My oldest is 16 and we have had too much of a friend-friend relationship. My husband travels for work and I have leaned on her a lot over the years. Also, she is very observant and snoopy. Even when I've tried to conceal things, she will come to me, having listened to a converstation through the door. She definitely knows I'm the mom. But we ARE friends too. Is she ruined? Is her life going to be crazy and unbearable? I'm sure I have BPD and she seems to also. Is she in for a miserable life? I've tried to be there for her in everything. But she still seems sad and self loathing often. I'm at a loss.

Hi Ella,

I can't answer that since I haven't met either of you personally, but it sounds like there might be some boundary issues and role confusion. You might want to consult a therapist in your area. It's never to late.

Here is a great article from Empowering Parents on the topic. Too many parents want to be their child's best friend and in the end it doesn't work out the way the parents had hoped.

http://www.empoweringparents.com/Your-Child-is-not-Your-Friend.php

Wow, that is a good article. Great minds think alike!

Thank you for sharing Fishman.

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