« Big Pharma causes Big Problems | Main | Just Say No to Drama »


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

This is beautiful Kellen. Delighted to see a post from you pop up in my reader, keep em coming!

great post!

It is unrealistic to believe that anyone can put their feelings aside through "forgetting" about a traumatic experience. The point of PTSD therapy should be that a survivor learns that his or her feelings about the trauma are normal, considering what they witnessed or experienced, and that they are allowed to have these feelings, be it anxiety or whatever.

Healing should be a two-pronged approach - normalizing their reaction to the trauma, as I said above, and learning coping mechanisms. To me, they can't do the latter until they've learned to do the former. You may have some survivors who don't want to talk about the trauma, and that's fine. The healing is in how they learn to live with the trauma and how they cope, that is, that they choose healthy ways of coping as oppose to self-medicating and denying themselves the right to feel.

Great points. Inspired me to follow up with some thoughts of my own over on my blog.

Hi Rick,

And what a beautiful response it is. I love what you say about forgiveness,

"Expectations of forgiveness are unreasonable when harm is ongoing".

This is so very, very true. I have a family member who keeps saying, "I'm sorry" but keeps repeating the behavior. I finally told him last time we were together, "No, you're not sorry if you keep doing it!"

For anyone who doesn't know, Rick is a great poet and writes beautifully. You can see his blog at:


Thanks for sharing this view of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about forgetting. When you forgive there can be no awareness which is needed to stop child abuse. Shared on Facebook and Twitter. I have written a number of my own blog posts on forgiveness, two of which were on forgiving without forgetting. Important & confusing topic for survivors.

The comments to this entry are closed.