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This reminds me of an earlier post you created, called "You Might be in an Abusive Relationship..."

So, I'd answer you with:
Love is NOT anything mentioned in that post!

love is;

laughing till it hurts.

showing your sensitive, or silly side so that others don't feel they have to keep up a guard and can be themselves- we all have a hidden silly side.

An impromptu game of football (soccer)with the kids and any silly item found.

Found in the littlest things and thoughts.

Always being there and having the patience to wait for your loved one to help themselves.

Mostly, love is chocolate and an open fire...

I wish I knew. :(


They are four very sad words.

I took a look at your link; you seem very strong.

You must have had a sad childhood, i think that inside you know you are strong enough to know that you are better than your abusers wanted you to believe; information on this site should help you become stronger and realise the situation you, the innocent one, were placed in.

I wish you well

Late to the party here, but I have to say - after almost 14 years with my husband - that the best description I've heard is that tired old chestnut that "Love is a verb".

My husband and I have had to work through numerous troubles over the years, and we haven't always consistently upheld all of your points above - although I will say that they are *mostly* true. What has remained consistent is that both of us are willing and wanting to WORK on and take action to better our relationship, and ourselves. We've both asked the other to help each other in our own growth (my husband subtly taps me on the foot when I talk too much or too enthusiastically in public, and I tap his leg if he's starting to speak undiplomatically &/or with too much anger). Love is a physical for-the-long-haul working commitment to something bigger than you are. We all make mistakes, but to my husband and I love is that consistent action of getting back on whichever horse we've temporarily fallen off of. That, and always having each other's backs.

As for your friend's family, their actions may be abberations in what are generally loving caring actions toward their relative. But based on what you've described so far I don't see love there at all. Jealousy and sabotage generally aren't compatible with love.

Hi Just,

I'm so pleased you are visiting. I had not heard "Love is a verb" before. That is absolutely beautiful. In fact your entire point is beautifully stated. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you for providing this post. I will share it on facebook and Tritter because your information can definately help many married people I know. Love (especially in a marriage relationship) is a based on honoring and esteeming someone above yourself. It even means laying aside your own interests in favor of the interests and needs of the other person.

I believe that marriage is is one of the most important relationships in life. Many marriages are facing crisis circumstances and are on the brink of divorce. People facing marriage crises need to hear what love and what it does. If they know about love then they can guage whether or not they are striving to match that standard or if they are failing to match that standard.

Thanks for adding to the cause of saving marriages.

What is intersting, that you are a therapist and seems to know about psychology, yet most of your statements have syntax flaws, for exmaple: "love doesnt" instead of "love does (whatever it does)" or love "isnt" instead of "love is....". Just a strange observation. Also is strange your adherence to the meaning of words, when it should (probably) be clear to you that people attach their own meaning to much simplier definitions than "love" and attempting to define such a term would actually mean a sucsefull therapy (IMHO). Just wondering.

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