I'm truly saddened by the number of people who truly have no idea what to do when they are sad. It's really simple..
It really is that simple.
"But what if I start crying and can't stop?"
Really? Have you ever seen that? Heard of it? Seen it in the National Enquirer even? It just doesn't happen. You may cry yourself to sleep, but that's about it. And when you wake up you'll feel better because you got it out of your system.
It seems like a really simple answer, but our culture seems to be bent on suppressing emotions. I have children brought to me all the time whose parents are using psychiatric medications to regulate their emotions. "They're too down" or "they're too up" or "they're too giddy" and yes, "too happy". I've actually had parents complain that their children were too happy and take them to have their medication increased. Granted, if our emotions are so extreme they are preventing us from functioning they might need regulation. But mood swings are normal. Emotions are normal. They need to be expressed, not tranquilized.
(And I'm imagining these same parents will be completely perplexed when this same child, as a teen or young adulthood, turns to drugs to regulate their emotions. )
The other problem with numbing or sedating your feelings is that you numb or sedate them all. Sure, you don't feel the "negative" emotions, but you also can't feel the good ones. Happiness is sedated the same as anxiety or sadness.
"But what do I do with these feelings?"
You feel them. Just sit and feel them. Your emotions are feedback. They give you valuable information about what's going on around you. Do you feel calm? Scared? Irritated? Sad? These are clues about what's happening to you.
When we dismiss emotions as "bad", "abnormal" or "negative" and medicate them into oblivion we medicate our very instincts. Instincts which are there to tell us when something is wrong, or right.
"What about feelings which are uncomfortable? I don't want to feel those."
The more you stuff them the bigger they get. Letting them out as they come keeps them from getting out of hand. If they're already too overwhelming you might need medication to hold them down a bit as you learn to release them a bit at a time. Put a time limit on them. Decide that you are going to sit with this feeling for 15 minutes, then plan to do something which will make you feel better. Set a timer if you need to. If that is too long, make the time shorter. If you can tolerate a longer span, try that. Experiment and find out what works best for you.
Experiment also with self soothing techniques. The better you are at making yourself feel better, the better able you will be to tolerate uncomfortable emotions.
Emotions are what make us feel alive. If you go through life without feeling yours you may have a lot of grief when you get older. Although you have walked through your life you didn't actually experience it because you didn't feel it. You're now 70 years old and it's too late to do it over again. Your life has passed without you.
And that is truly sad to realize.
So cry more, you'll pee less.*
*"Grandma: Oh, go on and cry. You'll pee less, as my grandma used to say." ~ Postcards from the Edge, 1990