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Hello again!

This is a well timed post - just this morning I was contemplating how to help a friend who is about to take the first step in her attempt to release herself from a relationship where she has learnt helplessness; she has no optimism and she has "hunkered down" for years. Whilst I have been there for her, and helped on so many occasions, she is completely numb to the thought that anything could ever be nice - or different.

Myself; I live with optimism, but nothing ever goes right; so I was "happy" to see some vindication of this within your penultimate paragraph.

Paradoxically, I find a peculiar beauty with difficult times; once we accept them as a part of life, they seem to feed the soul by allowing a greater appreciation of those who do not manipulate. I believe nothing is ever bad; because with determination, trauma is just another chance to learn and bring meaning to one's life - and make loving things happen.

In my experience, trauma can let one understand the complexities of humanities need to love and be loved and the depths of sorrow and confusion that can be encountered to meet this need. Eventually, it can also help one recognize and filter the manipulators from one's life with a beautiful appreciation of those who practice compassion, empathy and kindness.

So, someday I hope my friend will also see her bad times as a "gift". I will always be there for her because I have learnt from my own traumas; and, without these shared difficulties she would never ever have known that she could be so treasured.

What a beautiful way of looking at it. I know when I've been in terrible situations, it's hard to see at the time how this is going to benefit you! But, in the end, they have made me stronger and smarter. They also give me more compassion for the suffering of others.

You sound like a very good friend Felix. She is lucky to have you.

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