Kellevision

Military Structure and the Chaotic Family

Working in a homeless shelter, I work with a lot of clients who came from very dysfunctional and chaotic family systems.  One man grew up in such a family and overcame it by joining the military.  How did that help?  

Laughter Really is the Best Medicine

My video collection is inexplicable, unless you understand its purpose.  The only movies I actually purchase to keep are those which are safe and make me laugh.  I know no one dies, there is no violence, no animals are killed or harmed in the viewing of this movie and it makes me laugh.

Holiday Wellness Tips

Staying grounded during the holidays is difficult for most everyone.  Financial stressors, substance abuse issues (yours or someone else's) or a history of trauma can only exacerbate the problem.  Add to that the fact that old family roles kick in during family gatherings and well-adjusted, normally sane people suddenly find themselves acting like 5 year olds.  How do you maintain your peace of mind and stay balanced?

Self Soothing Techniques

Whether you are struggling with trauma, abuse, substance abuse or the everyday stressors of modern life developing good self soothing techniques can be crucial for maintaining your mental health and restoring your peace of mind.

Just Say "NO" to Christmas Presents and Obligatory Gifting

What would happen if everyone just decided not to exchange presents any longer?  Would the Earth spin off its axis?

Why Healthy Boundaries are Important in Relationships

Therapists talk a lot about boundaries, but we're not always clear what we mean by "boundaries", why they are important to an individual's mental health, or why they are important for healthy relationships.  

Satir's Mandala: The Components of Happiness

Virginia Satir was a renowned therapist who developed a mandala to illustrate the many aspects of a human being - all of which need to be fulfilled in order for us to be happy.  I find this mandala to be especially important when working with clients struggling with depression or recovering from substance abuse. 

The Voices in Your Head: Tuning in to Your Self Talk

Self talk is the little dialogue you have going on in your head throughout the day.  It is extremely subtle and most people don't realize it's even going on.  It's usually a "tape" of what your parents, or whoever raised you, said to you while you were growing up.  If they were nurturing and supportive, your self talk probably is nurturing and forgiving.  But if they were punitive, verbally abusive, demeaning, belittling, negative, fearful or insulting your self talk probably is too.

Healing the Healer

The Jung at Heart blog has a wonderful article on therapists getting therapy, "Therapist Heal Thyself".  I couldn't agree more that therapists taking responsibility for their own issues and doing their own work is absolutely essential.  This is the first question I recommend asking a potential therapist, "How do you work through your own issues?"  (See the full article, "10 Questions to Ask Your Next Therapist".)  

Building Self Esteem through Self Care

Many people ask me how to build self esteem.  I think one of the most important aphorisms I've heard was spoken many years ago by Dear Abby, "We teach people how to treat us."  So this is where you begin, with good, healthy self care.  When you care for yourself you communicate to yourself and others that you are worthy of care.  What constitutes good self care?